Sunday, 31 July 2011


The Oral Elephant In The Room

Posted in

It's just a banana...
 I never seize to be amazed by the things people say in public but actually do in private, this time it's oral sex. A couple of days ago I had a very interesting conversation with a friend about the topic and he was relating how he liked having that treat  appreciated on him and how many girls have done it to him, at which point I asked "so do you return the favour?" at which he passionately replied "No, never...." yada yada and some other mombo jumbo logic, which I fail to remember at the moment. This has lead me to a not so Einsteinish revelation about a common theme of this lovely little island I live on where this topic is concerned; and that is, everybody seem to be getting it done to them left, right and centre and yet they are never returning the favour. Of course at that point my left eyebrow is raised and I'm thinking wait a minute something here that doesn't make any sense. How come all these folks are getting so lucky to have it done to them but they never have to return the favour - are there really that many people in JA generous enough to give out this goodie and never ask a little appreciation back? I doubt it. It's kinda like how in some conservative societies where the men claim to have had a number of sexual partners, but yet all the females are virgins at marriage - makes you wonder who were the guys having sex with or were they not getting laid at all? Somebody is not being honest here.

So needless to say if so much giving is taking place there probably is just as much receiving too. But I can understand the need to lie about this 'sinful' indulgence after all we've all been raised and told that it's nasty and as such only nasty or freaky people do it and nobody wants to be a freak. Especially on the female side. Surprisingly - based on my experiences - I find that men actually confess to this more than women, some even brag openly about it, but never women, not once. You'd have to literally catch them with the lolli in their mouth before they admit to it. I've had female friends who go as far as to claim they have never had it done to them because they have no intention of returning the favour - but I know otherwise - even though they don't know I know. Don't worry M, your secret is safe with me. At this stage in our history where it seems to be quiet popular now and a few public figures have come out and admitted to indulging in this little practice (mostly after being put on blast), I find it a bit hilarious that folks will deny same. I'm not  saying everyone is doing it and really if you are doing it, it's really nobody's business but your own. But if you are going talk about it so much and all the times you've had it done but never returned the favour, don't be surprised when you get the one raised eyebrow, because we all know you're getting extra helpings under the table.

As for myself, I only receive I never return the favour. After all what kinda girl do take me for......


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