No more Lusain (Get it? No? Whatever I Thought It Was Genius)

While I usually don't comment on celebrity gossip I just can't seem to resist the urge to give my two cents worth on this particular celebrity revelation. I read an article on yahoo yesterday titled 'Usain Bolt dumped his girlfriend to focus on London Olympics' by Chris Chase. The article went on to detail Usain's 'reason' for dumping, I mean breaking up with Lubica Slovak the Slovakian born designer and Usain's main squeeze of six months. According to the article Usain parted ways with the lovely Slovakian beauty because he needs to focus on the upcoming Olympics.

Oh Pa-lease!!! You know I'm not buying that one. Now while I admire Usain's dedication to his craft and I certainly admire him for his wonderful contribution to lifting the Jamaican flag high and his overall contribution to the sport of track and field that does not mean I'll be easily suckered by this crafty little dismissal. So let me just get straight to the point and give you my two cents worth of opinion. I believe the real reason he dumped, I mean separated, what the heck dumped her is - he's tired of the pussy. Sounds harsh, I know but it just is what it is. Lets look back at dear Usain's record where the fairer sex. He has been linked with a number of beautiful young ladies over the last couple of years. Aaww, to be young, rich and over 6 feet tall...

First their was Mizicann Evans, the girl he dated from his teenage years before Olympic fame and glory. She was also present at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing where he performed like magic, everyone had Bolt fever from then on. This is why I'm a doubtful about his inability to focus when a girlfriend is around. He did just fine then, and he did many times after with different women in his life. I was routing for him and Mizicann (I'm a romantic) and she is the one who liked him before anyone really gave a rat's ass who he was. Seems every famous athlete has one of those, which they usually "upgrade" for a supposedly hotter model. Which brings us to girl number two (that we know of) Taniesha "Lava" Simpson.

Could feed all the starving children in Africa with them titties.

Well let's be honest this one reeks of fame/gold digger. She has been on VH1's 'For the Love of Ray J' and we all know no one actually goes on a VH1 dating show looking for love, only fame, so we can see why Usain never publicly owned this one up, but being the sharp guy Usain he is we know he sampled the goodies before he bolted (I'm just full of corny puns today). Next came the Lovely Milan and another reality show alumni

This too soon quickly fizzled, with reports of of her being a royal bitch - I don't know if that's true, but if BET's College Hill is anything to go by, well... There was also a rumour of some secret relationship with a British girl name Rebeckah Passley and I'm certain there were others in between we don't know of (come on it's Usain. He's young, he's rich, he's over 6 feet tall, weren't you paying attention?). Then came Lubica Slovak whom I give credit for lasting all of six months. 

Slovak, the Slovakian....?

That's half a whole year! Hats off to you Lubica. I point all of this out to say, he's at that time in his life when he just want's to sample as many fish from the sea as he can. I'm not saying it's right and I'm not saying it's wrong - it just is what  it is. So spare me the focus on the Olympics smooth over, this current fish's time on land has expired and it's back to the sea for her. Oh well.